my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
