We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
