Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize