If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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