never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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