i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
