I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
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Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
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It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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