Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
