The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
