I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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