It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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