He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
