I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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