So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
a search helicopter?!
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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