I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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