these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
