Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
