i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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