Well douche your snatch and let's go!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
His nipple licking is glorious
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