i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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