Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
