You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize