There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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