What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
