He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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