I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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