Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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