i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
