I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
