New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
