You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
