Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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