I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
