You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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