i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
