Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
