Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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