He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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