What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
