She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
