Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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