Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
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Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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