I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dignity is for republicans.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
