you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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