Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
