He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
