So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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