1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
