i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize