where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
