....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize