He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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