Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
