He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
