oh god the rape fog is back!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
