I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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