Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
