i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
