you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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