you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
