I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
