VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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