y did u give ur computer a hand job?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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