Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
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She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
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Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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