Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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