how can u be prego again
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There r osticjed everywhere
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
