How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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