when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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